ces petits riens

Photo: Guy Bourdin

Female sexuality is represssed. Comparatively it is, whatwith this taboo and darkness that surrounds it. Some would probably speak in terms of the mysteries of female sexuality which clearly just is a testiment of how the issue has always been treated; hushed that is. There's nothing mysterious about men and dicks. Everyone knows everything about it. The vagina on the other hand is like the Bermuda Triangle, no one ever reports back from there. Ask Eve Ensler, she had a whole book published about it. As surprising as this should be, it's not at all, as I learnt speaking to two of my female comrades over a drink of whatever. And how the hell could it, when this "taboolization" starts as early as during kiddy stage at kindergarten. The very root of evil in this case you see is the absense of viable expressions for referring to the female private parts. While there are probably several child-friendly words used by boys as well as girls and teachers for that matter about the penis, equivalents lack of the vagina. The result is quite naturally that the act of speaking about the vagina is very postponed and I say naturally because how is one to speak about something that barely has no name? Breaking the silence surely doesn't get all that much easier later in life.  Eve Ensler wrote about the word "vagina": "It sounds like an infection at best, maybe a medical instrument:..Doesn't matter how many times you say it, it never sounds like a word you want to say." If vagina is too clinical, then surely all women will not be inclined to make use of the considered dirtier alternatives "pussy" or "cunt". All things considered I'm starting to understand Eve Ensler's great worry about the vagina; what it is called and not called.

Sometime ago I dropped a line about the genius that was the writing of Sex and the City. Surely its original, witty and spot-on writing and sensational use of word play was part of what made it so good in the first place but  looking back at the show, I would assume it worked wonders on reclaiming female sexuality and helped "legitimiziing" speaking about it in everyday life. And what is so genius about it, is that it all just happened without our ever reflecting upon it. The daytime re-runs of the show just goes to prove that.

U.S American; A friend is someone from a passing acquaintance to a lifetime intimate.
Contrasting: A friend is someone with whom one is very close.

U.S American; Friends are often limited to an area of common interest, such as work, school or recreation.
Contrasting: A friendship embraces a whole person.

U.S American: Friends gather to enjoy an activity together.
Contrasting; Friends gather just to be together.

U.S American: If someone has a problem it is acceptable to go to a professional (i.e. counselor) for help.
Contrasting: Someone who has a problem goes to a family member or friend  at any time.

U.S American: Friends may be dropped if they do not live up to our expectations or our behavior.
Contrasting: One tolerates a lot from one who is a friend.

U.S American: One schedules time to see friends.
Contrasting: Friends are available at any time.

U.S American: Americans act informally and friendly with almost everyone.
Contrasting: People who don't know each other maintain a formal  relationship. 


Photo:Terry Richardson

Up until recently I wouldn't have known how to define it with as few words as two. It's a very logical expression though;about this human condition we've all most likely been a victim of or have put someone else through; retroactive jealousy. A jealousy with things, places and people that all occured before one entered a certain someone's life. The concept of agony caused by all these fond memories of which one will never be a part and the frustration of not knowing. Partly very unhealthy and destructive; a foul, partly a testiment of  someone's love.