Mr Mom (1983), directed by Stan Dragoti and written by John Hughes

My problem with labels of masculine and feminine in everyday language is not so much a problem of self-consciousness and discomfort with having things that I, myself do being labelled or viewed as feminine by others. God knows, I didn't give all too much of a fuck about such things at 13 and am not too likely to start at 23 (Actually, most people who say they don't care about what other people think are really just bullshitting. Everyone cares, more or less; it's relative to that of others...I just happen to care a tad less)The problem however is that too few allow themselves to think out of the box of conformity and will in their way of acting and conducting their life be directed by social conventions and have faux-pas (do-nots) based on what's masculine and feminine which frankly compromises people as human beings.

In personally rejecting these labels, Im not so much denying that some traits and actions are more common with one of the two sexes than the other (for whatever reason, and reasons there are) as to hold that the other sex would likely be taking part in these occurenecs to a larger extent than it does, had it not felt inhibited by these labels...and people really do. You see it all the time. The framework within which some socieites presupposes that you act and behave as a man is constituted by all things masculine and vice versa. Because these labels set the "standard" for your sex, if you mix and mingle or choose not to comply, you are viewed as or might feel judged as a lesser example of your sex. Now that's fine if you don't care but if you do, well...you're sort of screwed, conformity or non-conformity, it's a lose situation either way. Against the background of this social structure, it's easy to feel that members of my sex as well as the opposite are being deprived the "right" of certain things with the simple and frequent use of these marginalizing labels.

Labels are very effective and can be channelled for good things but that's not the case with these.


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