Photo: Guy Bourdin

Female sexuality is represssed. Comparatively it is, whatwith this taboo and darkness that surrounds it. Some would probably speak in terms of the mysteries of female sexuality which clearly just is a testiment of how the issue has always been treated; hushed that is. There's nothing mysterious about men and dicks. Everyone knows everything about it. The vagina on the other hand is like the Bermuda Triangle, no one ever reports back from there. Ask Eve Ensler, she had a whole book published about it. As surprising as this should be, it's not at all, as I learnt speaking to two of my female comrades over a drink of whatever. And how the hell could it, when this "taboolization" starts as early as during kiddy stage at kindergarten. The very root of evil in this case you see is the absense of viable expressions for referring to the female private parts. While there are probably several child-friendly words used by boys as well as girls and teachers for that matter about the penis, equivalents lack of the vagina. The result is quite naturally that the act of speaking about the vagina is very postponed and I say naturally because how is one to speak about something that barely has no name? Breaking the silence surely doesn't get all that much easier later in life.  Eve Ensler wrote about the word "vagina": "It sounds like an infection at best, maybe a medical instrument:..Doesn't matter how many times you say it, it never sounds like a word you want to say." If vagina is too clinical, then surely all women will not be inclined to make use of the considered dirtier alternatives "pussy" or "cunt". All things considered I'm starting to understand Eve Ensler's great worry about the vagina; what it is called and not called.

Sometime ago I dropped a line about the genius that was the writing of Sex and the City. Surely its original, witty and spot-on writing and sensational use of word play was part of what made it so good in the first place but  looking back at the show, I would assume it worked wonders on reclaiming female sexuality and helped "legitimiziing" speaking about it in everyday life. And what is so genius about it, is that it all just happened without our ever reflecting upon it. The daytime re-runs of the show just goes to prove that.


More or less
It's just a change in me
Something in my liberty
Oh, my, my

Coming and going
I watch you look at me
Watch my fever growing
I know just where I am

But how many corners do I have to turn?
How many times do I have to learn
All the love I have is in my mind?

Well, I'm a lucky man
With fire in my hands

Something in my own place
I'm standing naked
Smiling, I feel no disgrace
With who I am

The Verve- Lucky Man
Photo: Anton Corbijn on Michael Stipe of REM


Liv Ullman as Elisabeth Vogler in Ingmar Bergman's Persona


Along with other documents on my desk there is the following protocol; Perspectives on Friendships: U.S American and Constrasting Vviewpoints.

U.S American; A friend is someone from a passing acquaintance to a lifetime intimate.
Contrasting: A friend is someone with whom one is very close.

U.S American; Friends are often limited to an area of common interest, such as work, school or recreation.
Contrasting: A friendship embraces a whole person.

U.S American: Friends gather to enjoy an activity together.
Contrasting; Friends gather just to be together.

U.S American: If someone has a problem it is acceptable to go to a professional (i.e. counselor) for help.
Contrasting: Someone who has a problem goes to a family member or friend  at any time.

U.S American: Friends may be dropped if they do not live up to our expectations or our behavior.
Contrasting: One tolerates a lot from one who is a friend.

U.S American: One schedules time to see friends.
Contrasting: Friends are available at any time.

U.S American: Americans act informally and friendly with almost everyone.
Contrasting: People who don't know each other maintain a formal  relationship. 

Photo:Terry Richardson


Jealousy by Edvard Munch

Up until recently I wouldn't have known how to define it with as few words as two. It's a very logical expression though;about this human condition we've all most likely been a victim of or have put someone else through; retroactive jealousy. A jealousy with things, places and people that all occured before one entered a certain someone's life. The concept of agony caused by all these fond memories of which one will never be a part and the frustration of not knowing. Partly very unhealthy and destructive; a foul, partly a testiment of  someone's love.


We can make movies like "There's Something about Mary" using semen as hair gel, and it's a huge hit- but to show a bloody tampon is considered shocking. I think that says a lot about our culture's atttude towards women and towards female sexuality.

- Alan Ball, writer of Amercan Beauty and creator of Six Feet Under and True Blood.

Cure for this particular cancer (read: uptightness and narrow-mindness) people seem to have: The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler and director Catherine Breillat's films.


-Besides I have absolutely unreasonable dreams and expectations. And some sort of longing too for that matter.

-Those are very beautiful words, are they not? I mean words that don't mean anything real. I'm brought up with beautiful words. Mother is not upset or miserable, no instead "she feels pain". You also have plenty of those words. With your being a priest, it must be some sort of occupational hazard. If you say you're longing for me while I'm standing here opposite you, I get suspicious.

- You know very well what I mean.

- No. If I knew then you would never think of the idea of telling me you long for me.

Genius. From Ingmar Bergman's Autumn Sonata.


Martin Margiela exhibition in Antwerp, 2008.
There is more action to be done to fight aids than to wear this t-shirt but it's a good start.

You have to appreciate the work Katherine Hamnett does with raising awareness through clothing but nowhere does it beat this self-consciousness displayed in this garment by Martin Margiela.

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